Life… A sentence in Death!

Death!...

What is there to say about this phenomenon that has not been already said.

The Gurus, our scriptures mark it as a happening of life, ending of one chapter, to begin anew.

A phase of life which has come to its fulfilment. Pick up a newspaper, a social media post and somewhere you will have at least one story depicting a violent end.

That’s all it is, an article, a phase in someone else’s life. That is, until it comes knocking near to you. And more so, when it takes someone dear to you, someone you thought you had all the time in the world with.

And suddenly, this sense of infinity is stripped from you.

You look at the body in front of you and are to contemplate this life that you were lucky to be a part of. You dare – even if for a moment – to face your own mortality.

My first encounter with death was as a child, a distinct memory as a 4 or 5-year-old, when on one of our family visits to Ratlam I had fallen seriously ill. My mother had to take me to the nearby hospital on a tonga. And there I saw a procession going by chanting “Ram naam satya hai”.

That scene has always stayed with me, watching it as a young child of course I did not understand much. I believe I thought it maybe my turn now – but that’s the adult me trying to go back and see what the “little” me was processing. Why do I have to force feed thoughts to this “little” me is beyond me.

But yes, as any normal human being would, I have had my fair share of attending these growing up.

As a child, I don’t think we process much and just feel the sadness around it. As an adult, everyone is busy asking the grieving person to be ‘strong’, ‘it is ok’… I know their heart is in the right place, but that is a load of ‘hollow advice’ in my eyes.

The loss and the void that comes with this are unfathomable, especially for the immediate family. For the world may not be aware, but I believe the collective consciousness is. So many lives touched just by the smile of one person.

It puts so many issues in perspective, even if temporarily. Every moment a life is realized and the next moment a life has reached its fulfillment. The world moves on and so do you. But Death, it has a way of staring at you no matter how much you may have turned away your face from it. It reminds you of its existence when you least expect it.

When you face the question of your own mortality, it is not you alone. Your age is also a reminder of the fragility of the lives around you. The moment when you see your loved ones and realize that time has sped up while you have been busy growing up.

You also have this daunting fact facing you, it is not the age / the health / the trajectory you are at that matters. It is simply when life has decided, you have had enough. And that can be at any moment, this moment as well.

And yet, here we are worried about a certain goal / trajectory to reach post which we may start to truly live rather than staying alive right now.

Quite frankly, I have had these ramblings with myself for quite some time now.

Death as much as I may fear it… for myself or for my near and dear ones (God forbid).

We do not conquer, run or hide from death. That is what is embedded in our psyche as a civilization. The “Gurus” teachings, our scriptures preaching.

So, the question remains, what do I want to see when death faces me: Do I welcome him as an old friend or a vengeful entity wanting to strip away my ego?

Truthfully, even this thought, this rambling is scary to me. To put down in words what I have thought of or been afraid of to think, to articulate, for a long time.

All I know is, I want no regrets, if that is possible. A human mind has its limits, dare I say and mine is wired to simple needs. A life lived, fulfilled with love to its fullest.

Grateful for the lives I have been a part of and that they were a part of mine.

To welcome death as an old friend, when its eyes provide me with a mirror of my life all I see is a life lived and loved to its fullest.

Faith within, calm in mind, love in my heart, for this end I am willing to work hard. I know it is easier said than done, but the intent matters, showing up matters and rest is up to God.