Perception and its plays

Peace, like human behaviour, is subjective and varies with each individual.

I want my friends to take control of their lives, go out, feel the sun, be so much more than they are now.

For this I have never fought with them, I find that a waste of my time and energy. I make my thoughts clear on what I feel they should action.

However, with experience and with time I have learnt, it can be construed as something else. That same friend can convolute your care as something else in their mind and try to impose their own distorted feelings, misplaced traumas unto you. Some one else whom you may deem as a good friend, may just ignore you altogether. And as per your interpretation, none of them have the decency to respect you.

But then again, when you look deep into yourself, wanting to do what you feel is best for you, if that means cutting off someone who leeches on with warped intentions to you, if that means taking a step back from the friendship that starts feeling more like a burden than a blooming flower, is when you realize – maybe, just maybe, you have not respected them as well.

In your high mightiness of self (can be due to your upbringing, your current goals which you are working towards, so much more but all sub conscious more than conscious) you have judged them and looked down on them for not taking the obvious action in the situation they are in and just cut off the root.

Oh how easy it is to judge a life you have not lived, a life that’s gone through ups and downs parallel to yours in this world, yes, but has had its own challenges. You judge someone for not doing the obvious as per your perception, disregarding the life that has lived and gone through the challenges.

One is now on the way to a faraway place to fulfill their goal, while you would overthink everything before even taking a solo trip kind of a decision. Solo movies, café dates, yes… But you would overthink a 1000 times and be paralyzed as many times before even doing something so outrageous for yourself. Even when you know it will relieve you of so much dependence in the mind.

The other can do what they want really, as long as they do not impose their nonsense unto me. But are a friend nevertheless and you will always wish them well.

If any of them read this, I guess I am done for but all the best guys – always rooting for you!

Anyhow, the point here is, I have judged not only these but I am guessing many people while myself standing on a high pedestal. It is possible I am on that pedestal right now, judging myself while writing this. If that’s the case – Hi there, Judgement buddy, how about you take a space ship to mars and never come back. Thanks!

It is so easy for a third person to look at some one and go: You know I believe you are to do X for Y result. I have had people judge me, walking on the road. Can see it in their eyes once they have looked at me up to down and spotted the bent knee issue.

While I walk, run, all will come and say you are an inspiration. Well, dude its knock knees not end of the world for me to stop walking, what’s your excuse? The scooter / bike to a place which will take 10 mins to reach by walk?

We all have many a times judged some one else, Maybe call this a aging game. Lol.

But to open your perception beyond your understanding, to actually look at someone and understand the challenging trajectory they had. More than sympathy we need more of empathy, to recognize the challenges a person may have had and not to impose our own misplaced solutions on them. In that sense, am I not the leech trying to get some kind of a high all and know all recognition from them?

This far sightedness, does this come in a day? No.

It takes work to look at yourself, while you always saw your flaws, you ignored them, so to embrace them and work on them where you can. Isn’t this what we expect of ourselves and of others.

Yet in our treatment of others we are the opposite and demand exactly what we do not give.

I know I have a long way to go, the people around me have been very patient with the myopic view I have had and now its time to give myself the same patience to work on myself (my circle of control) and same patience to be there for my people in times of their need while they work on themselves.

Truthfully, that is what I can do best as of now.

Be there for myself, in turn show up for them.

In essence, they have to find their own version of peace and so do I. This holds true not just for them, but also for the ones I hold very dear.