Learning to be alone…
A simple
yet such a hard task to achieve.
I am
supposed to be walking around my room, trying to contemplate my life – what I
want.
And what do I do? Sit down and start this essay instead.
In today’s
world being comfortable alone constitutes to going for a movie alone, dining / café
alone, checking out new places all alone – all without any judgement OR embarrassment.
That is your own judgement, because if you’re at this stage, you likely do not
care about others any way. Plus, they will be too busy to anyway, take my word
for it.
Every time,
I feel a regret for what would have been and try to gauge why I do feel this
way and what can be done to rectify this in the present, a veil drop. Suddenly
I find myself thinking of a scene from a current favorite show / movie OR a rerun
of certain favorite scene in the past. Then I want to get all nostalgic about
the 90’s – my growing up years.
Let me be
clear, while hate is a strong word for it, no love lost for me for those embarrassing
years of mine. I am just thankful to have come this far. Touchwood. And look
forward to going beyond. Nope – not a cry for help, I mean beyond in life. That
beyond will come day and I am very happy to wait for it when it does come.
See, different
stream of thoughts all catching a different road and leading me somewhere, then
nowhere. I may as well be courage the cowardly dog in the middle of nowhere.
And I had no love for him as well, much to my sister’s dismay.
This is
supposed to be a learn to be alone thing not how to think and write no sense
nonsense thing.
I want to dig
deeper into my train of thoughts, don’t tell me there is so much nonsense to dig
through much like the never-ending garbage mountain of Delhi / Mumbai. See –
Random facts and rambling. When that does not work, self-deprecating humor is
at its best.
So
difficult to use em dashes so people don’t think you are having AI write this. FOCUS.
BREATHE. THINK. DIG. DEEP. ALONE.
Annndddd
nothing…………… Uff yaar!!!!!!!
