Chimamanda’s We Should All Be Feminists from a Cultural Lens

If you are not living under a rock (unlike me, who just read this book) you may have already read Chimamanda Ngozi’s beautiful essay We Should All Be Feminists.

Not that I did not know about the book, I kept seeing it everywhere, and at the time it really felt like a trend, with the multiple reels and 'bookstagram' recommendations.
Now that I have read it, I can understand the huge number of recommendations it has received.

There is something unsettling about seeing feminism and its meaning misunderstood in similar ways by so many, even as the experiences of discrimination differ widely.
But do we as women understand the essence of feminism as well, or is it another buzzword to get attention or a topic for discussion?

If you Google it, below is the answer:

Feminism is the belief in and advocacy for the full social, economic, and political equality of all people, particularly through efforts to achieve women's rights and interests, challenge gender inequality, and dismantle systems of discrimination based on gender, race, and other intersecting factors. It is a broad set of movements and ideologies that seek to create a society where all genders have equal opportunities, treatment, and respect.

Simply put through my lens: it is my right to be treated as a fellow human without discrimination based on gender.

Most of you who are readers and do not procrastinate just because you think something is a trend have already read this. Done and dusted, taken your lessons, and moved on.
To me, who just gave it a read this afternoon, it seemed so simple yet annoying and grudgingly so, and the essence of it felt distorted. Such a simple task, to respect and value someone based on personality and not gender. And yet such a distant idea, actually not even an idea, to many.

Disclaimer: Spiritual talk ahead. This would be a good time to check out if you are not interested.

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Spinning the Traditional and Cultural Lens

Since many of you have already read it, there is no need to repeat the same details mentioned in the book.
The main reason for this article is to highlight the different perspectives depending on culture. It is promising to know that the essence and definition of feminism remain mostly the same, and yet a shift in region, situation, and culture can provide so many different perspectives.

As a Hindu, when I read this, I sat for some time with Chimamanda’s idea that gender roles are deeply ingrained in us without our realizing it. We tend to act according to these unconscious learnings because we are not confident in our own value. However, once we recognize our value, that is when the shift truly occurs.

For me, this led me to the thought of Shiv Shakti: the supreme Hindu God and Goddess couple.
Anyone who is aware of the basics of Hinduism has carried them in mind as an ideal couple (literally). Beyond that, there are also philosophical and biological connotations. Shakti is the Kundalini asleep at the base of the spine. As she awakens, she makes her way through the spinal steps, activating each chakra, and finally unites with her Shiv at the topmost chakra.

In everyday life, we consider women to be a mirror image of the Goddess (though consideration does not mean this is applied much in real life, except in some homes), and men as an image of Shiv (again, not necessarily acting like him or learning from his stories).

On my spiritual path, I too have considered myself Shakti (since I am lucky to be born a woman), waiting to unite with her Shiv.
For the first time today, after reading this wonderful essay, it helped me switch my perspective.

What if I am Shiv waiting to unite with his Shakti? In Hindi there is a saying:
शिव है शव बिना शक्ति के — roughly, Shiva is a corpse without Shakti.

Shiv is withdrawn from the world, deep in meditation, unaware of and uncaring about the happenings of the world. When Shakti arrives, she breathes fire into him and brings him into participation with the world, keeping the universe intact and blessing it further.

Is this not a deep-seated gender-specific role that I have been carrying? Just because I am a woman, I think I am Shakti.

I know for some this may be a wasteful conversation, but it matters to me the most.
Did he not burn more than Sati in the fire she gave herself to, for the disrespect caused to her husband and to satisfy the ego of a man (her father)?
Did he not agonize over his beloved’s death and roam the universe as an ascetic burning in her absence?
Did Shiv not patiently wait for Parvati to come along while being in his sadhana?

When we think of this story, we think of Sati’s sacrifice and Parvati’s penance to obtain Shiv as her husband. But seldom do we think of Shiv’s patience, disguised as his inertia and unwillingness to participate in the world without his half.

Spiritually speaking, to consider myself “Shakti” when I may as well be “shav” waiting to become “Shiv” once united is giving into a gender-specific role.
Why is this important? Because a wrong diagnosis can only give incorrect consultation and medication, which can lead to further derailment rather than improvement.

But even to understand this, I must know myself not as a human born in a certain gender, but as a soul given the opportunity of this wonderful life as a human. Maybe then, I can tread my path carefully and reach my Shakti.

A thought to consider: Shiv and Shakti are within me.

Soch - Reflections of a Citizen | सोच — आवाज़ एक नागरिक की

 Soch-soch kar bhi kya sochun?

Kitna sochun?
Sochun ya phir na sochun?

Aji, chuppi toh sab bahar ki hai,
mann mein toh sochon ka bhawandar hai.

Palestine mein ho raha hai ghor apradh,
Israel kahe, maine nahi kiya koi paap.
India mein ghuskar atankwadi karte hain jaatiwaad ka kaand,
bhugatte hain Bharat ke insaan.

Koi kahe, paise ka khel hai, koi kahe, paise ka khel hai,
nahi hone dena hai logon ka mel.

Par yahan toh Hindu hi Hindu ke khilaaf,
yahan toh Hindu hi Hindu ke khilaaf.
Jaat-paat kam nahi tha, ab odh liya hai bhaasha ka livaaz.

Koi bahar ka kya maarega,
hamara jaanbaaz sarhad par jo khada hai.
Koi bahar ka kya maarega
jab ghar ka dushman ghar mein baitha hai.

Bhaasha, dharm, jaat-paat,
sara masla isi par atka hai.

Maarna-kaatna insaanon tak seemit nahi,
humne toh maa, jis dharti ko kehte hain,
maa, jis dharti ko kehte hain, ussi ko jhulas diya hai.

Jahan jaun, wahan plastic ka phailav,
kahin traffic lanes mein bikharav.
Signal to jaise hai hi nahi,
apni masti mein chalte jaana hai.
Koi tameez sikhaye to bolte hain, tumhare baap ka kya jaata hai?

Baap ka to pata nahi,
meri maa ka zaroor jaata hai.

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सोच–सोच कर भी क्या सोचूँ?
कितना सोचूँ?
सोचूँ या फिर न सोचूँ?

अजी, चुप्पी तो सब बाहर की है,
मन में तो सोचों का भँवर है।

फ़िलिस्तीन में हो रहा है घोर अपराध,
इज़राइल कहे — मैंने नहीं किया कोई पाप।
भारत में घुसकर आतंकवादी करते हैं जातिवाद का कांड,

भुगतते हैं भारत के इंसान।

कोई कहे — पैसों का खेल है, कोई कहे — पैसों का खेल है,
नहीं होने देना है लोगों का मेल।

पर यहाँ तो हिन्दू ही हिन्दू के ख़िलाफ़,
यहाँ तो हिन्दू ही हिन्दू के ख़िलाफ़।
जात-पात कम नहीं था, अब ओढ़ लिया है भाषा का लिबास।

कोई बाहर का क्या मारेगा,
हमारा जानबाज़ सरहद पर जो खड़ा है।
कोई बाहर का क्या मारेगा,
जब घर का दुश्मन घर में बैठा है।

भाषा, धर्म, जात-पात —
सारा मसला इसी पर अटका है।

मारना–काटना इंसानों तक सीमित नहीं,
हमने तो माँ, जिस धरती को कहते हैं,
माँ, जिस धरती को कहते हैं, उसी को झुलसा दिया है।

जहाँ जाऊँ वहाँ प्लास्टिक का फैलाव,
कहीं ट्रैफ़िक लेन्स में बिखराव।
सिग्नल तो जैसे है ही नहीं,
अपनी मस्ती में चलते जाना है।

कोई तमीज़ सिखाए तो बोलते हैं —
“तुम्हारे बाप का क्या जाता है?”

बाप का तो पता नहीं,
मेरी माँ का ज़रूर जाता है। 

Digging Deep and Random rants

 Learning to be alone…

A simple yet such a hard task to achieve.

I am supposed to be walking around my room, trying to contemplate my life – what I want.

And what do I do? Sit down and start this essay instead.

In today’s world being comfortable alone constitutes to going for a movie alone, dining / café alone, checking out new places all alone – all without any judgement OR embarrassment. That is your own judgement, because if you’re at this stage, you likely do not care about others any way. Plus, they will be too busy to anyway, take my word for it.

Every time, I feel a regret for what would have been and try to gauge why I do feel this way and what can be done to rectify this in the present, a veil drop. Suddenly I find myself thinking of a scene from a current favorite show / movie OR a rerun of certain favorite scene in the past. Then I want to get all nostalgic about the 90’s – my growing up years.

Let me be clear, while hate is a strong word for it, no love lost for me for those embarrassing years of mine. I am just thankful to have come this far. Touchwood. And look forward to going beyond. Nope – not a cry for help, I mean beyond in life. That beyond will come day and I am very happy to wait for it when it does come.

See, different stream of thoughts all catching a different road and leading me somewhere, then nowhere. I may as well be courage the cowardly dog in the middle of nowhere. And I had no love for him as well, much to my sister’s dismay.

This is supposed to be a learn to be alone thing not how to think and write no sense nonsense thing.

I want to dig deeper into my train of thoughts, don’t tell me there is so much nonsense to dig through much like the never-ending garbage mountain of Delhi / Mumbai. See – Random facts and rambling. When that does not work, self-deprecating humor is at its best.

So difficult to use em dashes so people don’t think you are having AI write this. FOCUS. BREATHE. THINK. DIG. DEEP. ALONE.

Annndddd nothing…………… Uff yaar!!!!!!!