A past to hold on...

There is a memory in the bylanes
Waiting to pounce on me every time something happens,
A past that I hold onto no matter how much I try to let go
A past which is a part of my life and taken away from me,
Every time a glimpse of it threatens tears in my eyes
A past which I so dearly want to hold onto but have no choice.
I wish I could be there again playing, laughing, reading and chatting away with friends,
Oh there is so much to say but no words to express what I feel.
A past I yearn for in the present while I pray for a better future,
A past that I so dearly hold onto...

THAT's JUST LIFE AFTER ALL: Dear Big Bro/ Bbbbhhhhaaaiii...

THAT's JUST LIFE AFTER ALL: Dear Big Bro/ Bbbbhhhhaaaiii...: Well at the risk of sounding cheesy, which i don't mind as of now, i dedicate this post to my bro who is out of country for work and co...

Dear Big Bro/ Bbbbhhhhaaaiii...

Well at the risk of sounding cheesy, which I don't mind as of now, I dedicate this post to my bro who is out of country for work and couldn't make it here... Well that's irritating to say the least but I know it's for good reason and figured since I couldn't tie it to him why not make a post for him :)...
So, My dear Bro what to say for you that you don't know about yourself ;)...

One thing I would like to start with is to say thanks to you for reminding me in your own direct and indirect way that you care about me, that you worry about me, it reassures me every time that you're are always there for me no matter what, even if I don't face you when I pass by your place so that you don't see the murder, the frustration, the irritation and the confusion for those feelings mingled together in my eyes so as not to worry about me, but you surprise me by noticing that gesture and knowing that I would never do so and worrying about me and in that small gesture reassuring me as always... Thank You, words aren't enough :)...

I remember there being a time when I was a child wishing that I had an elder brother who would take care of me, protect me, be there for me and not having one left me sad, where ever I did put my hope in that place I would get to see that it was no use to hope. Tying Rakhi was something I waited for every year and was excited until some events did open my eyes and actually left me not wanting to, doesn't mean I thought of or loved anyone less, anyhoo, it wasn't much for me until Bhai Dhuj would come and there was a younger brother I would see and treat as my own brother.

Then came the day years later when I tied Rakhi on you're wrist for the first time, I don't remember what day it was or what age I was or how it came to be, I just remember that day as per my feelings, what I saw with my eyes. I remember feeling a bit uncomfortable tying rakhi on your wrist as I had always seen you as a friend and never a brother and based on past experience's I wasn't much enthusiastic about it as I never thought I could have a brother I wanted but I tied it to you as you had always been there so I did it.

Well, as time passed I started looking forward to the day so I could tie you rakhi, with time and with experience I came to see you as a brother not because I had to but because I saw that you were truly my brother not because you had to be but because you wanted to be, well if that sentence makes sense to you then all the more better. Lols. I remember on one of my birthday feeling dejected and angry because you hadn't come to wish me or wished me anyhow, don't remember which one was that but it was a long time ago and you were THERE, so know that I had actually made up my mind NEVER to speak to you again. I guess I had kept to much expectations from you without realizing or knowing your situation or mindset, I was being stupid after all. But then you called and I came to my mind. I am actually happy for that day as when I think of it that was the day I truly and wholeheartedly came to see you as my brother and the important lesson of never to have expectations which is a good thing and there's been no turning back.

Well, I had and have thought of many things I truly desire and of them was a brother. I never had the brother that I wished for instead got a Brother I never thought I could or deserved to have.
So Thank You dear brother for always being there whether I know or not. For being irritated with my choice and almost fighting with me to drop it but at the same time understanding what I want and what I need to do and supporting me. I know that you're there for me and I know you know but let me say this out aloud right now I will always be there for you no matter what and will always wish for you to get all the success and happiness that you deserve. Thank You from the bottom of my heart for showing me that more than the blood that we do not share, Its the bond of Rakhi, the bond of souls as a Brother and Sister that matters more than anything else. I love you and you will always hold a special place in my Heart (as long as you get me good gifts, JOKING, no I am not, YES I AM...), hehehe... Well you know... :p

This Dear Big Bro or Bbbbhhhaaaiii is my gift for you. Well we will be waiting here with your Rakhi to tie on your wrist the moment we get the chance... Hehe...

HAPPY RAKSHABANDHAN :D :D :D :D

P.S.: As I'm not a very vocal person in regards to my feelings and rarely do voice them, don't mind when I do meet you and feel a bit awkward... Lols... ;)

Your Loving Sister

A lifetime ago...

A lifetime of knowing someone
And one day they are just gone,
Twelve days of rituals to mark the life that was once led,
Yesterday they were here
Today they are not,
Memories which feels like a lifetime ago,
Makes me wonder whether it was a dream I saw or was it real,
No matter how many days friends and family cry or not it's not about the count,
What it is about are the lives touched by the life once led and whether you cry or not the beautiful and pure memories will remain with you in your heart and head...
A tribute to the lives once led,
No matter what but you are the ones who taught us how to Tread...

Where's ME...

I live like you
I see like you
I love like you
I hate like you
I think like you
I breathe like you
I wanna be like you

But here and there's only You,
Where's the Me that I wanna Be.

I still wanna live like you
I still wanna see like you
I still wanna love like you
I still wanna hate like you
I still wanna think like you
I still wanna breathe like you
I still wanna be like you

But I wanna do it my own way like you once did and still do.

THAT's JUST LIFE AFTER ALL: Yes, No & ME

THAT's JUST LIFE AFTER ALL: Yes, No & ME: There has been Good There has been Bad There is Yes There is No There was Acceptance There was Rejection But there is & always wi...

Yes, No & ME

There has been Good
There has been Bad
There is Yes
There is No
There was Acceptance
There was Rejection
But there is & always will be
MY LORD who's been & always will be with me.

So those who accepted me for what I am
I appreciate, respect & thank you from the bottom of my Heart;
As for those who rejected me for whatever reason be I thank you as well,
For it us you because of whom today I am a stronger ME.